Puke. All over. All over me, all over the floor, all over the chair, all over the couch...you get the idea. C (the little boy I nanny for) switched formulas and basically all he does is puke. Lovely, white, cottage-cheesy puke. As I was venturing forth from the puke encrusted living room to change his clothes, the bit of formula that did actually make it through his stomach and into his bowels shot out of his diaper in the form of diarrhea. However, never fear, because I, being super nanny, thought,
no problem, I can handle this, I was going to change his clothes anyway. Ta-da! The glass is still half full. I got him cleaned up, and as I was re-dressing him I realized J (his older sister) had not used the big girl potty recently. So I said to her, "Let's go potty!" in my very most faux excited voice, at which point I turned to lay the baby in the middle of bed, and as I turned back around, I saw it. The little yellow trickle of pee. Running down her leg. In slow motion. I bolted across the room in time to move her from carpet to tile, but not quickly enough to stop the massive waterfall of pee that soaked her socks and ran in large puddles all over the floor. But again, the glass being half full, I thought,
No problem, I can just throw all this into one big nasty bodily functions (BNBF) load of laundry with C's pukey laundry and it will be all good. I ran her a bath, loaded up the laundry machine, and took her into her bedroom to re-dress her. I laid C on the bed while I was getting new clothes for J, got her all dressed, and turned around to find that C had puked all over J's favorite blankie.
The glass is beginning to look distinctly less full. I threw that into the BNBF load of laundry, read her a story, scooped up the baby, and shut her bedroom door. As I was walking back into the kitchen, C puked again. All.over.the.floor. I have to tell you my friends, the glass is not half full. It is not even half empty. It's pretty much like C drank the entire contents of the glass and then puked them all over the floor. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a very large load of laundry to put away.
